Will Young considered breaking his own leg as an excuse to withdraw from "Strictly Come Dancing".
The 38-year-old singer-songwriter abruptly quit the BBC programme in October 2016 due to "horrific" post traumatic stress disorder and Will has now revealed the depths of his worries.
Will - who developed a stammer and became fearful of going to the "Strictly" studio - shared: "I was really ill. I was dragging myself to rehearsals. I just couldn't do it any more.
"It was so bad I thought - I'm not joking - I thought about breaking my leg."
The singer admitted his "Strictly" experience turned out to be be a nightmare, even though he was so excited at the outset.
He told the Daily Telegraph newspaper: "I decided to take on "Strictly" because I bloody love dancing. And I bloody hated it, because I was so ill."
Will was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder while appearing in "Cabaret" in London's West End in 2012 and it has even led him to feel suicidal.
Since then, he has spent an enormous amount of money on three spells in therapy.
He explained: "It's really expensive. I've probably spent at least half a million quid on my therapy. I've spent at least £200,000 on treatment alone. I could afford it - most people can't. It makes me desperately sad."
During his time on the show, Will had an on-air disagreement with judge Len Goodman about one of his performances.
Len subsequently blamed himself for the singer's departure.
He said: "Suddenly, he's not doing "Strictly" any more. I thought "Oh, Christ, I do hope it's not because of me."